Those who spend (in Allahs Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who restrain anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves those who do good.( Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #134)
We can deal with angry people more effectively if we keep in mind that the balance of mind of the angry person is usually disturbed. Anger can lead to a temporary insanity.
Even in this age of enlightenment; haughtiness, vanities, arrogances, meanness, and hypocrisies remain psychic diseases. We need to meet abuse by forbearance. Human nature is so constituted that if we remain cool headed or take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop. In traffic jams or rush hours of traffic we often hear angry horns, shouts and even abuses. Just let them leave frustrated or gesture with hands to calm down.
In dealing with the customers and associate we have to be very considerate. First step is dealing with angry people is to ask Yourself if the Anger is Justified. If it is not clear ask the person and listen intently the cause of his anger. If it is due to your mistake or the action of someone associated with you or your negligence apologise quickly and try to make amends.
Dont reply to abuse or shouting with abuse or shouting. Never use foul language. Stay calm, offer him to sit down and discuss. Offer a glass of water.
If the anger is due to misunderstanding try to remove that misunderstanding explaining nicely the law or regulations or company policy.
Despite the obnoxious behavior, loud shouting, screeching voices, clenching fists, pointing fingers, red faces and all, most angry people have a sad message. Most likely they are trying to tell you that they are feeling hurt, ignored, disrespected, unappreciated and unloved.
Listening and responding to these needs calmly and emphatically can serve as the key to getting more cooperation from emotionally agitated people. Just say “I think I understand what is going on here, but feel free to correct me, my friend” and so on. Then offer some reflective listening, validating their concerns to an extent. Tell them something nice and peaceful. Agree with them in theory. Do not assign any blame or argue. Establish a basic premise for peace by appealing in some way to the dormant, healthy side of their personality by extending to them some sense of grace, validation, and acceptance.
Most important thing in dealing with angry people is to contrrol your own anger. It is only one word away from danger as somebody quipped. Let us always remember, as Thomes Jefferson said:“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances.